What's in a Name......Change

Daniel and Abena aged 2 years: Daniel's family lived next door to us in Swaziland from when I was 2 years. Yes, I know, earring-free I looked like a little boy. The name 'Abena' would instantly send out alarm bells that I was a girl....well, only alarm bells that could be understood in Ghana!

When my big brother Kwabena and I were 12 and 10, we presented a petition to our parents. We had grown tired of our names being mispronounced and butchered all over Southern Africa. We were weary of being different and wanted some English names. I think I had chosen something like Annabelle or Amber. My father laughed for minutes on end and finally the abrupt response came: "No". I was peeved and upset at the time. Now I'm just peeved and upset with myself for coming up with such a ridiculous idea. I love my name. It has always been unique. I have learnt to embrace this unique-ness and suffered through:

• Ahhhhh-Ben--Naaaaahhh in Southern Africa,
• Ah-Beeeee-Naa in America and
• Ap--Nah in the Netherlands.

I will not lie. I myself have not been the best pronouncer of my own name!

Then I moved to Ghana years ago and suddenly my name was no longer unique. It was so common that it raised more curious questions:

• "Your name is Abena???? Please, what is your other name, your Christian name"
• "Your name is Abena??? You have really tried. You have come to our country and have adopted one of our local names to fit in"

It did not help that just days before my flight to Ghana, I stood in front of a mirror with a large pair of scissors in my friend Nabs' apartment and did something completely spontaneous. I chopped off all my hair and left myself with a short-cropped hair-cut any Ghanaian Senior Secondary School girl would have been proud of. Of course what I did not realise then was that I was about to be constantly mistaken for a Senior Secondary School girl despite the fact that I was well into my 20s!

If it was not an SSS girl, I was presumed to be visiting Ghana from the US, East Africa or Southern Africa. In those days, natural hair for females 20 years + was quite rare. Eventually I conformed. With time, any traces of an American accent disappeared. My hair grew, it was re-processed and I joined the ranks of the 'weavealicious' to borrow from fellow blogger Sankofa.
Fast forward to the present. Living in Ghana with a name like Abena also comes with some level of familiarity that can be quite annoying. Imagine you go to the bank and are asked to wait and as soon as you are called it is likely to be:

"Abena, please come to Teller 2"

If my name was something like Janet Mensah. I'm pretty sure that it would automatically be:

"Ms. Mensah, please come to Teller 2".

My brother finds that too. At banks, instead of Mr. So and So he is addressed as:

"Kwabena" , "Kobby" or even more inappropriately "Charle, Kob-Beeeeee".

Of course things are even more interesting for Kwabena since his 1 year old son was also born on a Tuesday. Young Kwabena and his dad Kwabena also share the same middle name so sometimes my family and I get confused about who exactly we are referring to.

Kwabena and Kwabena when Kwabena was 1 month old. Hopefully neither Kwabena (nor Kwabena) will kill me for putting this on my blog.

Having a name that is easy to remember like Abena has also gotten me into some sticky situations. I have met random people in various parts of Ghana for work or in some other random capacity. All they need is the first name, my place of work and they can be sitting on the dusty couch in our office in no time!

When I first started blogging from Ghana, the name Abena was also pretty unique in the blogosphere. Now suddenly there are so many Abenas that I myself get confused: Did I just post that comment? Sounds like me!

I am also very curious... Where are all the Akuas, Amas, Afuas, Adwoas and Yaas in the blogosphere? Is it because I'm more aware of other Abenas? Is it perhaps that us Tuesday-borns are just uniquely creative? Hehehehe!

So finally, I have come to terms with the fact that if I remain as just Abena I am no longer unique. I have had to accept that change is inevitable. Enter Abena Serwaa. Well, until another Abena Serwaa comes along!

Daniel and Abena Serwaa 20++ years later: Please don't tell me I still look like a boy in this picture!

PS: My Cameroonian friend tells me Abena or Abendo is a popular male name in Yaoundé. YIKES. Also, a Danish company markets a brand of adult diapers under the name Abena. Double YIKES!

No Water, No Electricity, No Ministry of Foreign Affairs BUT We do have The FIFA U20 World Cup... courtesy of Pastor T.B. Joshua!

This past week has been weird, wacky and also tragic all over the land of GH.

Just to think exactly a week ago the nation had assembled in homes, pubs, clubs and spots to witness the euphoric FIFA U20 World Cup victory. Impromptu parties started all over my 'hood from Friday to Sunday morning.

Black Satellites in Accra
Source: JoyFm online

By Sunday things started to unravel:

Sunday: I got the Light-Off Blues
Accra was hit by power outages with a vengenance. It was not just my area, your area it was like EVERY area! My entire working-week has been punctuated by light offs from Monday morning all the way until Friday morning. Where from all this? Are we load-shedding on a full dam? Is it that rusty transformer from the 50s that still has to be replaced?

Monday: No Water
Ignorance is bliss. I only noticed on Monday that the water pressure at home was worryingly low. I later discovered that the water has been off for 5 days +. We are just about getting to the bottom of our polytank. *Eish* Waiting for the moment when I turn the tap and we are finally out.


Tuesday: Pastor TB Joshua, YouYube and the FIFA U20 World Cup
Turns out that there was much more to the FIFA U20 World Cup victory. The spiritual adviser to the President of Ghana, Pastor TB Joshua of the Synagogue Church of All-Nations 'engineered' the victory in our favour. Not only had he been in consultation with Coach Sellas Tetteh before, during and after the match but he had a video on YouTube to prove it. The snippet I heard on the BBC had the Pastor instructing our coach to play "Number 10" (team captain Andre Dede Ayew) first in the impending penalty shootout. He also asked to speak to Dede directly. A number of questions have buzzed about Accra since:

1. How come none of us saw the Coach or the captain on any phone just before the shoot-out?
2. How come the young captain says he never spoke to or has ever met Pastor Joshua?
3. How come the Pastor did not 'engineer' the Flying Eagles of his native Nigeria staying in the competition or the Super Eagles of Nigeria going to the World Cup?
4. Why can't we cut out the middle-men and make Pastor TB Joshua the Black Stars coach for our World Cup 2010 campaign?

Oddly enough, the video has since been yanked off YouTube.


Wednesday: Holy (Towering) Inferno!
I stopped watching television a while back. Well, aside from offerings on Viasat-1. As I randomly navigated through channels and landed on Metro TV, I was shocked to see the Ministry of Foreign Affairs completely ablaze! What??!!

Thursday: Where my Ministry at?
The sad reality finally hit. Our Ministry of Foreign Affairs was indeed no more. Property valued at millions of Ghana Cedis completely destroyed and data dating back to the 1950s destroyed. I shudder to imagine how much we have lost as a nation. Three people have been arrested and there are whisperings of arson. One conspiracy theory I overhead: The fire was the wrath of God visited on us for doubting Pastor TB's 'engineering'.

Ghana@50 Emblem
Source: Ghana web

Friday: Ghana@50 Probe Live. Mr. Kwadwo Mpiani finally takes the stand.
The long-anticipated appearance of the Former Chief of Staff at the official probe into expenditure during the celebration of Ghana's 50th anniversary was finally slated for today and was due to be broadcast live on a number of radio and television stations. I have missed almost all the sittings and like many people, had really wanted to hear proceedings. So I tuned into Joy FM and started entering some data while I listened in. I don't know whether it was the data, the fact that my coffee was wearing off, my empty office or the monotonic drones of some of the voices I heard but the Ghana @50 Probe put me to sleep mid-morning! I had to 'leave' the hearings in favour of loud trance music courtesy of DJ Tiesto. If anyone 'sat' through the hearings (including that man and that woman who were chastised by the Chairman for sitting in the wrong place right at the beginning!) please fill me in.

Also, Blogger has not been my friend all week. I'm having a problem with posting comments on other people's blogs...mmm sounds like my procrastinatory wings are being clipped. Hopefully not engineered by anyone!

Of Random Thoughts, Balloon Boys and Missing Blog Action Day

I have had alot on my mind lately but very little time to blog. Here are some of the random trivialities that have whizzed through my head this past week while I have been away from the blogosphere:

• How come GIMPA Executive Conference Hall lobby looks better than  Kotoka International Airport Arrival Hall?

• Should one be wary of a sweet gesture of unexpected chocolate from a random new friend?
  

• Racing down a dusty road barefoot and screaming at night: a great way to celebrate the Black Satellites FIFA Under 20 World Cup glorious victory or the best way to get tetanus?
   
• Do you speak Ghanamechanic-ese? How to avoid being taken to the cleaners by mechanics in Ghana
  

• Balloon Boy Saga: is this just a case of wanting 15 minutes more of fame when your 15 minutes are already up?

One thing that saddened me was that I missed the Blog Action Day on climate change. Kudos to fellow Ghana bloggers Maya, Kajsa, Edward and Holly who had thought-provoking postings on the subject. I would also recommend the latest BBC Focus on Africa magazine for their special issue on climate change in Africa.  Even the cover captures the barren, dust-filled desolate landscape that is inevitably encroaching upon us all. The desert IS coming.

Why is it that the topic of climate change does not spark enough anger and indignation among more people living on the African continent? Aren't we noticing that the weather is getting much hotter, aren't we wondering where all the parrots that used to inhabit our forests have disappeared to? Aren't we appalled that the thick, lush, equatorial forests of the hinterlands are thinning down? Apparently not. Maybe we feel powerless, maybe we are not well-informed or maybe we are just living for the moment?

Obama for Peace...Prize!

This past Friday, Twitter, Facebook, Google and the blogosphere were all abuzz with one item on everyone's (*erm*) keyboard. Everybody had an opinion on the 44th President of the United States getting this year's coveted Nobel Peace Prize.
Just to think a year ago, President Obama was Senator Obama; one term State Senator from Illinois criss-crossing America on the campaign trail with his infectious "Yes we can!" message. A year later, not only is Barack Obama a president, he is also a Nobel Peace Prize recipient. Indeed, Yes HE can!

Even ardent fans of Obama like myself were taken aback by the noble Nobel Committee's announcement. Later it became apparent to me that the prize is for work to be done to promote peace rather than work done. This puts immense pressure on President Obama. The critics are everywhere. Already Obama has come face-to-face with fiery opposition to his Health Care reform bill from opposition Republicans who have accused him of everything from being a liar to (shock-horror) a communist. Even the same people on the left who helped propel him to his current position are expressing dissatisfaction. Have you heard of the Obameter at PolitiFact.com? Basically, the good people at PolitiFact.com have compiled more than 500 promises that President Obama made during his campaign and are tracking their progress on their Obameter.

They rate each promise's status as: No Action, In the Works or Stalled. Once they find action is completed, they rate them as Promise Kept, Compromise or Promise Broken.

So far things are not looking too good on President Obama's scorecard. Imagine we had something similar in Ghana. I would hate to see President's Mill's report card right about now!

Poor President Obama. He may have wanted to take a backseat when it came to world politics and focus more on internal domestic issues. Now this seems impossible especially with the Nobel Prize looming over his head. For me it has now became clear as day, Obama is basically the superhero that we have all being waiting for to save the world! Move over Superman, here comes Obama-man:

• Got problems in the Middle East? Here Obama-man comes to save the day!
• Conflict in Darfur? Obama-man to the rescue
  
• Nagging issues with juntas in Burma? Obama-man is on the job..
• North Korea still testing those pesky missiles? It's a bird; it's a plane; No, Its Obama-man.
  

I admire President Obama right this minute. He has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Literally.

President Obama the Superhero
Source: Flickr

Ghana Politics 101: Political Power must come with control of Public Toilets!

About 10 years ago there was an email making the rounds that described the characteristics of people from different African countries. According to the email , "Ghanaians think they invented politics". Okay, so maybe we didn't actually invent politics but in recent time we have shown that we know a thing or two about how to do democracy! Anyway, I do think we have a number of valuable political lessons to share with Africa and the rest of the world so let me welcome you to the first installment of my online course: "Introduction to Ghanaian Politics 101"

Lecture 1: Political Power must come with control of Public Toilets!

Public Toilet in Accra
Source: www.janchipchase.com

After President J.E.A. Mills was sworn into office on 7 January 2009, one of the first things that happened was that hordes of his party supporters stormed public toilets all over the country to seize control of their operation. Likewise, after President J.A. Kufuor was sworn into office on 7 January 2001, one of the first things that happened was that hordes of his party supporters stormed public toilets all over the country to seize control of their operation. Many Ghanaians were shocked and some pontificated on how ludicrous it was to grab toilets. I beg to differ. I have come to realise that there is real wealth in every flush.

With the help of two associates, I present to you the Toilet Revenue Generating Model for Economic Empowerment:

• So lets say we are 4 men belonging to the ruling party in government. Following an election we have managed to seize control of a public toilet complex with 20 water closets (WCs) in the bustling Tema Station area right in Accra Central.

• Let's say everyday our toilet facility has an average of 2000 visits from people 1. living in the area, 2. transiting through Tema station and 3. visitors to Tema Station Market /Makola Market.

• Suppose we charge 20p (Ghana pesewas) per visit to our facility. This would mean that we should expect a total daily revenue of GHC 400.00.

• However, we must subtract the various daily operational costs associated with running the facility.

OPERATIONAL COSTS

• Water

Water Tanker in Accra
Source: http://www.ghana-pedia.org/

*Each flush will take between 1.6 gallons of water (for new toilet models) and 4 gallons (for older models). So we can strike an average of 2.8 gallons per flush
*Therefore, one visit will require 3 gallons of water (2.8 gallons to flush + 0.2 gallons to wash hands)
*2000 people per day will require a total of 6000 gallons to flush and wash their hands. *One water tanker carrying 3000 gallons currently costs around GHC70.00. So we are looking at a total daily water consumption cost of GHC 140.00.
*Subtract GHC 140.00 from our projected daily revenue for water

• Toilet Paper:

*One 2-ply toilet roll costs around 50p (maximum). If you have ever frequented a public toilet you will know that they are not generous with the amount of toilet paper they give you.
*If one roll has 100 sheets and each person gets 5 sheets, each roll could serve 20 people comfortably.
*Therefore 100 rolls would be required per day and we are now looking at a total daily toilet roll expenditure of GHC 50.00.

NB: There is also the free old newspaper option but we will not consider that for this model.

*Subtract GHC 50.00 from our projected daily revenue for toilet paper

• Toilet Cleaners:

*Lets say we employ 2 workers to maintain our toilets. Each day we pay each worker GHC 5.00
*Subtract GHC 10.00 from our projected daily revenue for salaries

• Toilet Cleaning supplies.

*Daily we spent about GHC3.00 on soap and all other cleaning supplies
*Subtract GHC 3.00 from our projected daily revenue for toilet cleaning supplies

• Total Operational costs to subtract per day = GHC 203.00

• Total projected daily profit = GHC 197.00

• Average total monthly revenue = GHC 197.00 X 30.5 days = GHC 6008.50

• Divide monthly revenue by 4 men. Thus, each person controlling the public toilet is looking at a cool GHC 1502.00 per month (approximately $1036.00 at the current exchange rate). This is tax-free money and more than most people in Ghana make per annum

• FAVORABLE FACTORS: Consider a popular rice seller operating in the station who does not wash her hands and infests her food with enteric bacteria causing an outbreak of diarrhoeal disease in the area. The outbreak could result in an average of 4000 visits to the toilet facility and thus increase revenue and increase the projected profit margin!
  

ABOVE: E-coli Bacteria
Source: NIAID sciencedaily.com

Just think about how this model is replicated all over the country. The take-home message is that toilet facility operation is a undeniable revenue earner for the members of ANY party in power. It can go a long way to appease (some) party grass-root members/cadres/foot soldiers. So next time you declare that it is completely ridiculous to seize toilets, think again.

HOMEWORK/ASSIGNMENT: Please discuss why electricity costs were not factored or considered in the Toilet Revenue Generating Model. This is despite the fact that the toilet facility is likely to be bathed in electricity light 24/7/365!