New York Movie Prices in Accra?

We were all set to see the film Avatar tonight. It had great reviews and seemed like a lovely diversion from the gloomy Christmas spirit of 2009. Where else in Accra can one see fresh releases such as Avatar on a wide-screen with crystal-clear surround sound but at the Silverbird Cinema at the Accra Mall? 

Any  Silverbird regular knows that they charge GHC10.00 ($7) for a movie which many people consider quite steep. I was among those "many people" but had come to accept that the price wasn't coming down anytime soon. My first trip over to Silverbird to see Quantum of Solace was so enjoyable I blogged about it.

Anyway, I had trouble finding movie times for Avatar online so en route to Tema this morning, I stopped by the Accra Mall. I found the perfect movie time (6:05pm) but just when I was leaving, my eyes fell on a small notice at the empty ticket desk. It read something like: 

"Due to circumstances beyond our control -blah-blah-blah- management would like to announce effective 18th December 2009 the following increases in ticket prices...."

Indeed. Adult tickets are now going for GHC 15.00 ($10.71) while there are discounts for students, senior citizens and children. What?!! Suddenly, Avatar at GHC15.00 without drinks and popcorn did not seem worth it! I called up Daixy whom I was supposed to see the film with and told her about the price hike. She was at the mall later and called me back to confirm that I was not hallucinating when I read the notice, there was actually a 50% price hike.

 "Well", she said "We can always go dressed as Seniors!". I laughed but hmmm maybe it is not such a bad idea!

Out of curiosity, I went online to see how much Avatar would cost at  AMC Empire 25 in the middle of Times Square New York. You get the full movie experience plus the hustle, bustle and bright lights of the city that never (ever) sleeps!

Watching Avatar tonight at the AMC Empire 25 would set you back $12.50. If you were to take the subway into the borough of Brooklyn, you could watch it there for $9 at the Bay Ridge Alpine Cinema. Does the Silverbird price hike sounds like a case of New York movie prices in Ghana?!

In defense of Silverbird, I do understand that they are MAJOR costs associated with bringing a brand-new release such as Avatar to Ghana. The company has to seriously recoup on their costs. However, I'm still wondering... doesn't raising the price of tickets by 50% scare away a number of potential customers who would be helping with the cost recovery? Has the Silverbird management carefully considered that raising the price to this level will not affect their core market? Perhaps that is the case. Clearly, I am not part of their target market. I would rather be watching a film at New York prices in New York than watching a film at New York prices in Ghana at a Ghanaian salary! 

So how are people entertaining themselves in Accra these days? Am I the only one suffering from persistent acute boredom? Hmm... is it too late to make it to the Samini Experience Tour tonight?

Sinterklaas is coming to town: The most cringeworthy time of the year!

Every year around December 5th, the Dutch celebrate 'Sinterklaas' or the feast of St. Nicholas. St Nicholas was a bishop living centuries ago and is the patron saint of children and sailors. He is also the predecessor of that jolly fellow with  the white beard that we know as Santa Claus or Father Christmas. I spent Christmas 2007 in the Netherlands  and was surprised to find that  'Sinterklaas' is a popular celebration for Dutch children. I was even more shocked and appalled when I set my eyes on Santa's  little helpers.

Historically, St. Nicholas was accompanied by black servants so as part of the Sinterklaas celebrations, Dutch people dress up as Santa's helper Black Pete (Zwaarte Piet). Around the time of Sinterklaas you are likely to find dozens of people wearing 15th Century garb, a black curly wig, black face paint, red lipstick and  of course gold bling. In the Netherlands they call it harmless fun for children, in America they call it Blackface. Blackface in 19th/early 20th century  America was basically white actors impersonating and caricaturing black people in popular performances called Minstrel shows. Such performances were laden with stereotypes of clappy,  happy black people who were always dancing, singing, perhaps nibbling on some watermelon. You know, all the things us black people luuuv to do!

So back to Sinterklaas in the Netherlands, was I more distressed that this archaic practice was still  being carried out with such glee in one of the most liberal parts of the planet? No, I was far more bothered that nobody found anything wrong with it!! According to the Dutch, there is no racial element in the  Black Pete portrayals and he could be any colour; yellow, green or purple. I also annoyed  that people told me that I was offended because I was too Americanized and had become overly-sensitive as well as politically correct. So my question is, would you find Black Pete offensive? 

 Black Petes in Leiden The Netherlands, 2007

Real Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?

I should admit straight away, I really did not like the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I found it loooonnng , sleep-inducing and utterly confusing. But... I did find the concept of being able to erase someone or painful memories from your mind really appealing! Like life imitating art, scientists have actually been able to make erasing specific memories possible in rats. Other science types have gone further and been able to do the same thing in humans using chemical-free behaviour therapy.

At first I thought it was a great idea but now I'm alot more skeptical. Aren't memories good for our learning and development? Don't bad experiences, bad people, bad relationships create danger signals in our head and help us avoid making the same mistakes twice? What memories would you earmark for deletion?

Finding Hidden Tracks: A Nation Progressing or Regressing?

Work is preventing me from procrastinating. Or is it procrastinating is preventing me from working? Regardless, I seem to be caught in a befuddling vicious circle.

Anyway, two days ago, we went on a work-related field trip to the town of Nsawam 30 minutes north of Accra . Nsawam is famous for:

• Being the first large town in the Eastern Region on the Accra - Kumasi road
  
• Scary high volume traffic
  
• Pineapples. Mmm...love that Blue Skies juice
  
• An infamous medium security prison
• Being the place where trains come from. 

No, they don't make trains in Nsawam but if you happen to live anywhere near a railway track in Accra , you may catch a glimpse of a rusty locomotive chugging slowly past. The train apparently starts in Nsawam and ends in Accra.

On a map I got from the Ghana Survey Department (above), I noticed that the railway line did not end in Nsawam  but seemed to be heading north beyond Nsawam right off the map. Where was it going? 

As we drove along the Densu River in the area north of Nsawam, I wondered "where the @#$@#$# is that railway line?". Finally, a nice lady who took us around one community pointed out the railroad. We were actually walking on it:

 The dead, gone and long-forgotten railway line  

 

Apparently, in its heyday, the railway line used to run all the way to Kumasi. That was decades ago! Imagine; decades ago we had a railway line bringing  fresh produce from that place they call The Hinterlands into Accra. Alas, that does not happen anymore. Produce is brought strictly by road.

   

Long abandoned railway station on the old Nsawam - Kumasi line 

This has gotten me reflecting; as a nation, is Ghana slowly progressing or just rapidly regressing?

World AIDS Day 2009

Some have observed that there is growing global indifference when it comes to the fight against HIV/AIDS even though the epidemic continues to rage on. As part of World AIDS Day 2009, I just wanted to highlight some figures from the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV (UNAIDS) to reflect on how the HIV/AIDS epidemic has impacted on our world:

• Since the beginning of the epidemic, almost 60 million people have been infected with HIV and 25 million people have died of HIV-related causes.

• In 2008, some 33.4 million [31.1 million-35.8 million] people living with HIV,
• 2.7 million[2.4 million-3.0 million] new infections and
• 2 million [1.7 million-2.4 million] AIDS-related deaths.

• In 2008, around 430 000 [240 000-610 000] children were born with HIV, bringing to 2.1 million [1.2 million-2.9 million] the total number of children under 15 living with HIV.

• Young people account for around 40% of all new adult (15+) HIV infections worldwide.

• Sub-Saharan Africa is the region most affected and is home to 67% of all people living with HIV worldwide and 91% of all new infections among children.

• In sub-Saharan Africa the epidemic has orphaned more than 14 million children

Sobering facts and harsh realities. 


Also in the news about HIV/AIDS in Africa:

• South Africa's Jacob Zuma praised for new AIDS approach
  

• South African army fights HIV stigma by allowing HIV positive South African soldiers to be  to be deployed overseas if they pass a battery of fitness tests.
  

• Uganda proposes death penalty for HIV positive gays. 

• Women and girls remain the worst affected by HIV/AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa, accounting for 60 percent of the overall HIV infections.
  

Progression and regression in the fight against HIV on the continent?

Celebrating 10 years of (the other) Nana Kwaku Duah

Otumfuo Osei Tutu II swearing the oath of allegiance to Asanteman [Ashanti nation] in 1999
Source: A Handbook on Asante Culture (Coverpicture) by Mr. Osei Kwadwo.

In 1999, Nana Kwaku Duah ascended the Golden Stool as the 16th Asantehene (King of the Asantes/Ashantis) taking the title Otumfuo Nana Osei Tutu II. Earlier this year, the 10th anniversary of  the event was celebrated with great pomp and pageantry in Kumasi. Interestingly, it was also in 1999 that a young fresh-faced Nana Kwaku Okyere Duah burst onto the Ghanaian music scene with his debut album Philomena. This other Nana Kwaku Duah took the title 'TicTac'. 

The young TicTac on the Philomena cover sleeve
 

TicTac's Philomena holds a special place in my heart because it was the first hiplife (highlife + hiphop) album I  bought. Correct me if I'm wrong but the  title track, Philomena (featuring Obrafuor and Nana Quame) is about a girl with excess body hair in need of an appointment with a Gillette razor (?). Hmmm, despite the allure of this song, my personal favorite from the album was the second track K.K.B.K featuring Daasebre Gyamena.

So why am I waxing lyrical about TicTac? Well, this past Saturday I randomly turned on snoozy afternoon TV and happened to catch TicTac's new video Bosoe featuring KeyNote of Nigeria. Although I'm not familiar with the collective works of Mr. KeyNote, I must say I was quite impressed by this English, Twi and Yoruba infused track. 
 

Above: Bosoe TicTac Featuring KeyNote

TicTac has lost the baggy clothes in favour of more trendy threads. Love the hair too. 

Not only has TicTac managed to stand the test of time but he has also survived the  crisis facing the hiplife industry. Well, I'm not sure about the exact details of this crisis but if you have heard Obour's great song The Game featuring Ritchie and Okyeame Kwame, then you will know that the hiplife industry is (apparently) in dire straits. I should add that not all are inclined to agree but that is another matter.  Anyway, back to TicTac, over the years, this talented, hardworking young man has been quite busy. He has been featured on MTV Base,  has matured lyrically (thank goodness) and has even advertised phonecards targetting Ghanaians in the diaspora!  TicTac has also collaborated with other artistes such as  Obrafuor, Nana Quame, Daasebre Gyamena, (Batman) Samini , D'Banj, Tony Tetuila and of course KeyNote with the end products being some pretty infectious tracks. By the way, I just noticed that singer Nana Quame has completely slipped off the radar. Does anyone know where he is?

Anyway, my sincerest congratulations to (the other) Nana Kwaku Duah  for 10 years years in the Ghanaian music industry and proving that no matter how high he goes he will never fall because he is indeed the son of..... a kangaroo. 

Ghana Politics 101: When on the Radio DO use popular cliches/catchphrases.... By all Means Necessary

Ghanaians have two favorite pastimes;  Football and Politics. What better instrument to enjoy both these two passions than the radio! Indeed, the radio is the medium of the choice to reach masses all over the nation and there are a plethora of stations in different languages such as Akan, English, Ga, Ewe, Foreign-Acquired Brooklynese and even Ghana-Acquired Brixtonese!

Anyway class, I digress, our lesson today is about the aspiring politician and how the radio can be a useful tool to  share views, ideas or stupidity. If you are a politician and making a radio appearance then there are some important phrases you should be familiar with that are well-understood by listeners across the country.Some people may call these clichés but I call them 'useful catchphrases.' Examples are below:

• "Ghanaians are discerning". Perhaps one of the most overused catch-phrase in recent times especially since the 2008 election appears to support the validity of the statement. For the aspiring politician, this phrase will be sure to endear you to many but may seriously irritate others tired of hearing it.
  

• "In 2008 a  ball of kenkey cost 20 pesewas as against 30 pesewas in 2009". If you listen to the radio, you will discover that the real barometer for the cost of living is the price of a ball of delicious kenkey. If it is not the price of kenkey then it will be a 'tin of milk' or perhaps a 'tuber of yam'. If you will ever use this cliché then be sure to make a quick trip to one of the large markets to ensure that your price-list is current.  Nothing worse than a politician caught quoting out-dated prices.
  

Tubers of Yam 

Source: http://en.wikivisual.com

• "Under the current administration, the people are suffering": This is a versatile and timeless must-use phrase. It  is applicable to any regime in fact anywhere in the world. Let's face it, the masses will always suffer.   

• "Sycophant": Its a big word. Its hard to prounouce and do we actually know what it means? Well, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary a sycophant refers to  a 'servile self-seeking flatterer'. In Ghana, it appears leaders of all shapes, hues and political colours enjoy surrounding themselves with 'servile self-seeking flatterers'. Well, at least that is what people on the radio keep saying!   

• "Grass-roots/foot-soldiers/cadres": These all refer to political party supporters known for doing all the leg-work to ensure a party takes power, remains in power or will come back to power. Discontent among this group can lead to real problems for any party. Keeping foot soldiers happy appears to be a priority for many a political party in power.

• "I have studied the terrain": Politico-speak used to demonstrate an expertise or profound knowledge in matters affecting the masses. Usually the terrain surveyor knows squat.
  

• "Come 20XX, we will vote them out": I missed most of  "Come 2000...", was around for much of "Come 2004..."  as well as "Come 2008...." and there are already grumblings of "Come 2012....".  This expression can be used by any opposition politician looking to galvanize support and give the masses confidence in the potential of people power. 

• "The ordinary man living in Chorkor":  Has any regular radio listener noticed that the Accra neighbourhood of Chorkor seems to provide a barometer for how the masses are living and feeling? One wonders if the people of Chorkor have seen improvements in their area since every politician seems to have them at heart!

Polling Booth in Chorkor, Accra. December 2008

Source: Associated Press/BBC

• "I know the true situation on the ground": Any politician claiming to know how the masses or political foot-soldiers are feeling will claim to know the situation on the ground. Someone who knows the situation on the ground is also likely to use the kenkey barometer or claim to be a regular visitor to Chorkor. However, like the terrain surveyor this person is NOT likely to know much about the true situation on the ground.
  

Homework Assignment: Do you have any catch-phrases and cliches that are essential for any politician hoping to be on the radio? Please do share!

Return of the Prodigal Gardener

We had an unexpected visitor one Saturday morning a few months ago. After a mysterious 3-month absence our gardener nonchalantly strolled into the yard with a big metal cross around his neck. The whole household was excited to see him and we welcomed him with breakfast. Of course the big question on my mind was "Where the @#$@#$ has he been?" It later emerged that he has been staying in a prayer camp in the Akwapim mountains casting out his demons... literally. Although our gardener seems like a quiet, polite young man apparently he has been wrought with 'spiritual' problems for a while. 

Prayer camps offering 'treatment' for mental health issues are not a new thing in Ghana. Around May this year, the BBC's West Africa correspondent Will Ross did a documentary on the phenomenon in Ghana. What he found was  sad, appalling and down-right embarrassing. He visited a prayer camp where mentally-ill individuals were chained for hours. According to the BBC report:

"With only four practising psychiatrists in the country and a stigma attached to mental illness, doctors say the only way to cope with the workload is to work with the Church-run camps."

Ironically, there are most probably more Ghanaian psychiatrists in just one zip-code in Manhattan than there are in the whole of Ghana! A snippet of Will Ross's documentary can be seen here:

Scene from the BBC Documentary on Prayer Camps in Ghana 

BTW; Where is BBC reporter Will Ross these days? It appears he has relocated to Nairobi  but someone forget to tell us!

Oddly-enough, my family and I are no strangers to gardeners with mental health issues. Back in Southern Africa, we had a  gardener who never showed up for work one day. Days turned into weeks which eventually turned into years. One sunny day 2 years later, our gardener returned wearing the green uniform of a  mental institution close to our house proclaiming  loudly that he had come "to reap what he had sown". While my big sister and I stood perplexed, he headed straight for the garden and got to work!  Being the immature 10 year old, I immediately took off and left home leaving my 17 year old sister to deal with the erratically behaving gardener down in the garden.  Luckily she made a couple of calls and he was picked up by some nice people who took him back to the mental institution from where he had made a dramatic escape that morning. Understandably, it took my sister sometime to forgive me for that one!

 

Flash-forward to Ghana; Our gardener now lives at the prayer camp full-time. He is 'receiving treatment' and comes down to pay us a visit once every month. Personally, he does not strike me as having any mental problems at all but has been convinced by others that he does. I bet he tends the prayer camp gardens pretty darn well....hmmmm.

Is the Electricity Company of Ghana (ECG) demonstrating a committment to romance all over Accra??

I was planning a walk around my very dimly-lit neighborhood tonight. I called home and apparently the lights are off AGAIN!  Of course the ironic part is that the electricity company was sure to bring the electricity bill 'round THIS afternoon. 

Today's power-outage is particularly perplexing. I could have sworn my eyes glazed across a newspaper article  late last week that explained these recent frequent power-outages. The tone of the article was that the current spate (to borrow from the Phrasebook of Overused Phrases in Ghana) of power-outages were to be a thing of the past. So now I'm completely at a loss. But eureka...a light-bulb just went off  (sadly only in my head); the power-outages MUST be a sign of the ECG's commitment to promoting romance all over Accra! Why else are we being forced to have dinner by candlelight night after night? Mmm, let's just hope no fires are started because then we are pretty much screwed!

Candelight Dinner

Source: www.blairibmagnet.org/

20 Years On: The Fall of the Berlin Wall

Berlin Wall

Source: Associated Press/BBC

The world has changed a lot since 1989. It is hard to imagine that Germany was once divided into two parts for many years after World War II.  It is hard to believe that city of Berlin was once divided by a wall and difficult to fathom that it has been 20 years since the wall came down and sparked a chain of events that eventually led to the end of the Cold War. For all those too young to remember the Cold War, all you need to know is that it meant constant tension, threat of a nuclear war and inspired some of the best movies of our time! Who can forget all those films where the bad guys always  seemed to speak Russian? Did someone say Hunt for Red October? In the end, the West 'won' the Cold War but it is ironic that 20 years later, capitalism has basically imploded and we are all feeling the effects of the world economic crisis. 

I'm trying to remember 1989. TV Images that come to mind revolve around sledgehammers hacking away at the Berlin Wall, families being reunited and celebrations all over Germany. I also recall how real and fake chunks of the wall were up for sale everywhere. In fact, if the internet was up and running in 1989, I'm sure chunks of the wall  (real and fake) would have been all over E-Bay.

Speaking of East Germany, a couple of months ago, I finally got round to seeing the 2003 film Good Bye Lenin! which is set in Communist East Berlin. The film  is a comedy/drama that chronicles events from just before the collapse of the wall in 1989 all the way up to German Reunification in 1990. Aside from the amusing plot underlying the film,it shows the shocking disparities between  life in East Germany compared to the much wealthier West Germany. Was also interesting to see the rapid changes that took place as communism gave way to capitalism literally overnight! Of course the major catch for me was that I watched the film entirely in German with no subtitles .Thanks to the good people over at Wikipedia, I was actually able to follow the story!


Today, celebrations are set to take place all over Germany. Hopefully, the rest of the world will reflect on other barriers such as race, religion, ethnicity that separate people all over the world. Can't we all just get along?

Nov. 4th 2008, One year later: The Beautiful Dream becomes Stark Reality

President Obama in the Oval Office
Source: White House Museum Online

November 4th, 2008: The Beautiful Dream

The US Democratic Party Candidate Senator Barack Obama achieved one of the most amazing feats in history. He won the US Presidential race becoming the first African-American President of the United States.

It is hard to believe that that was actually one year ago.

November 4th, 2009: The Stark Reality

President Obama is now firmly at the helm of affairs yet he is facing many obstacles in his way:

• Dealing with the grave impact of the sub-prime mortgage crisis on the US economy
  
• A health-care reform bill for universal health coverage that has been far from being universally accepted
• Tough decisions to make concerning American troop numbers in Afghanistan
• The War in Iraq and looming questions
  
• Two gubernatorial races in the states of Virginia and New Jersey have just been won by the opposition Republicans

Beautiful dreams may have given way to harsh realities but the chapter has not ended. Despite skepticism and cynicism, I still believe that President Obama will pull through and live up to many expectations.

What's in a Name......Change

Daniel and Abena aged 2 years: Daniel's family lived next door to us in Swaziland from when I was 2 years. Yes, I know, earring-free I looked like a little boy. The name 'Abena' would instantly send out alarm bells that I was a girl....well, only alarm bells that could be understood in Ghana!

When my big brother Kwabena and I were 12 and 10, we presented a petition to our parents. We had grown tired of our names being mispronounced and butchered all over Southern Africa. We were weary of being different and wanted some English names. I think I had chosen something like Annabelle or Amber. My father laughed for minutes on end and finally the abrupt response came: "No". I was peeved and upset at the time. Now I'm just peeved and upset with myself for coming up with such a ridiculous idea. I love my name. It has always been unique. I have learnt to embrace this unique-ness and suffered through:

• Ahhhhh-Ben--Naaaaahhh in Southern Africa,
• Ah-Beeeee-Naa in America and
• Ap--Nah in the Netherlands.

I will not lie. I myself have not been the best pronouncer of my own name!

Then I moved to Ghana years ago and suddenly my name was no longer unique. It was so common that it raised more curious questions:

• "Your name is Abena???? Please, what is your other name, your Christian name"
• "Your name is Abena??? You have really tried. You have come to our country and have adopted one of our local names to fit in"

It did not help that just days before my flight to Ghana, I stood in front of a mirror with a large pair of scissors in my friend Nabs' apartment and did something completely spontaneous. I chopped off all my hair and left myself with a short-cropped hair-cut any Ghanaian Senior Secondary School girl would have been proud of. Of course what I did not realise then was that I was about to be constantly mistaken for a Senior Secondary School girl despite the fact that I was well into my 20s!

If it was not an SSS girl, I was presumed to be visiting Ghana from the US, East Africa or Southern Africa. In those days, natural hair for females 20 years + was quite rare. Eventually I conformed. With time, any traces of an American accent disappeared. My hair grew, it was re-processed and I joined the ranks of the 'weavealicious' to borrow from fellow blogger Sankofa.
Fast forward to the present. Living in Ghana with a name like Abena also comes with some level of familiarity that can be quite annoying. Imagine you go to the bank and are asked to wait and as soon as you are called it is likely to be:

"Abena, please come to Teller 2"

If my name was something like Janet Mensah. I'm pretty sure that it would automatically be:

"Ms. Mensah, please come to Teller 2".

My brother finds that too. At banks, instead of Mr. So and So he is addressed as:

"Kwabena" , "Kobby" or even more inappropriately "Charle, Kob-Beeeeee".

Of course things are even more interesting for Kwabena since his 1 year old son was also born on a Tuesday. Young Kwabena and his dad Kwabena also share the same middle name so sometimes my family and I get confused about who exactly we are referring to.

Kwabena and Kwabena when Kwabena was 1 month old. Hopefully neither Kwabena (nor Kwabena) will kill me for putting this on my blog.

Having a name that is easy to remember like Abena has also gotten me into some sticky situations. I have met random people in various parts of Ghana for work or in some other random capacity. All they need is the first name, my place of work and they can be sitting on the dusty couch in our office in no time!

When I first started blogging from Ghana, the name Abena was also pretty unique in the blogosphere. Now suddenly there are so many Abenas that I myself get confused: Did I just post that comment? Sounds like me!

I am also very curious... Where are all the Akuas, Amas, Afuas, Adwoas and Yaas in the blogosphere? Is it because I'm more aware of other Abenas? Is it perhaps that us Tuesday-borns are just uniquely creative? Hehehehe!

So finally, I have come to terms with the fact that if I remain as just Abena I am no longer unique. I have had to accept that change is inevitable. Enter Abena Serwaa. Well, until another Abena Serwaa comes along!

Daniel and Abena Serwaa 20++ years later: Please don't tell me I still look like a boy in this picture!

PS: My Cameroonian friend tells me Abena or Abendo is a popular male name in Yaoundé. YIKES. Also, a Danish company markets a brand of adult diapers under the name Abena. Double YIKES!

No Water, No Electricity, No Ministry of Foreign Affairs BUT We do have The FIFA U20 World Cup... courtesy of Pastor T.B. Joshua!

This past week has been weird, wacky and also tragic all over the land of GH.

Just to think exactly a week ago the nation had assembled in homes, pubs, clubs and spots to witness the euphoric FIFA U20 World Cup victory. Impromptu parties started all over my 'hood from Friday to Sunday morning.

Black Satellites in Accra
Source: JoyFm online

By Sunday things started to unravel:

Sunday: I got the Light-Off Blues
Accra was hit by power outages with a vengenance. It was not just my area, your area it was like EVERY area! My entire working-week has been punctuated by light offs from Monday morning all the way until Friday morning. Where from all this? Are we load-shedding on a full dam? Is it that rusty transformer from the 50s that still has to be replaced?

Monday: No Water
Ignorance is bliss. I only noticed on Monday that the water pressure at home was worryingly low. I later discovered that the water has been off for 5 days +. We are just about getting to the bottom of our polytank. *Eish* Waiting for the moment when I turn the tap and we are finally out.


Tuesday: Pastor TB Joshua, YouYube and the FIFA U20 World Cup
Turns out that there was much more to the FIFA U20 World Cup victory. The spiritual adviser to the President of Ghana, Pastor TB Joshua of the Synagogue Church of All-Nations 'engineered' the victory in our favour. Not only had he been in consultation with Coach Sellas Tetteh before, during and after the match but he had a video on YouTube to prove it. The snippet I heard on the BBC had the Pastor instructing our coach to play "Number 10" (team captain Andre Dede Ayew) first in the impending penalty shootout. He also asked to speak to Dede directly. A number of questions have buzzed about Accra since:

1. How come none of us saw the Coach or the captain on any phone just before the shoot-out?
2. How come the young captain says he never spoke to or has ever met Pastor Joshua?
3. How come the Pastor did not 'engineer' the Flying Eagles of his native Nigeria staying in the competition or the Super Eagles of Nigeria going to the World Cup?
4. Why can't we cut out the middle-men and make Pastor TB Joshua the Black Stars coach for our World Cup 2010 campaign?

Oddly enough, the video has since been yanked off YouTube.


Wednesday: Holy (Towering) Inferno!
I stopped watching television a while back. Well, aside from offerings on Viasat-1. As I randomly navigated through channels and landed on Metro TV, I was shocked to see the Ministry of Foreign Affairs completely ablaze! What??!!

Thursday: Where my Ministry at?
The sad reality finally hit. Our Ministry of Foreign Affairs was indeed no more. Property valued at millions of Ghana Cedis completely destroyed and data dating back to the 1950s destroyed. I shudder to imagine how much we have lost as a nation. Three people have been arrested and there are whisperings of arson. One conspiracy theory I overhead: The fire was the wrath of God visited on us for doubting Pastor TB's 'engineering'.

Ghana@50 Emblem
Source: Ghana web

Friday: Ghana@50 Probe Live. Mr. Kwadwo Mpiani finally takes the stand.
The long-anticipated appearance of the Former Chief of Staff at the official probe into expenditure during the celebration of Ghana's 50th anniversary was finally slated for today and was due to be broadcast live on a number of radio and television stations. I have missed almost all the sittings and like many people, had really wanted to hear proceedings. So I tuned into Joy FM and started entering some data while I listened in. I don't know whether it was the data, the fact that my coffee was wearing off, my empty office or the monotonic drones of some of the voices I heard but the Ghana @50 Probe put me to sleep mid-morning! I had to 'leave' the hearings in favour of loud trance music courtesy of DJ Tiesto. If anyone 'sat' through the hearings (including that man and that woman who were chastised by the Chairman for sitting in the wrong place right at the beginning!) please fill me in.

Also, Blogger has not been my friend all week. I'm having a problem with posting comments on other people's blogs...mmm sounds like my procrastinatory wings are being clipped. Hopefully not engineered by anyone!

Of Random Thoughts, Balloon Boys and Missing Blog Action Day

I have had alot on my mind lately but very little time to blog. Here are some of the random trivialities that have whizzed through my head this past week while I have been away from the blogosphere:

• How come GIMPA Executive Conference Hall lobby looks better than  Kotoka International Airport Arrival Hall?

• Should one be wary of a sweet gesture of unexpected chocolate from a random new friend?
  

• Racing down a dusty road barefoot and screaming at night: a great way to celebrate the Black Satellites FIFA Under 20 World Cup glorious victory or the best way to get tetanus?
   
• Do you speak Ghanamechanic-ese? How to avoid being taken to the cleaners by mechanics in Ghana
  

• Balloon Boy Saga: is this just a case of wanting 15 minutes more of fame when your 15 minutes are already up?

One thing that saddened me was that I missed the Blog Action Day on climate change. Kudos to fellow Ghana bloggers Maya, Kajsa, Edward and Holly who had thought-provoking postings on the subject. I would also recommend the latest BBC Focus on Africa magazine for their special issue on climate change in Africa.  Even the cover captures the barren, dust-filled desolate landscape that is inevitably encroaching upon us all. The desert IS coming.

Why is it that the topic of climate change does not spark enough anger and indignation among more people living on the African continent? Aren't we noticing that the weather is getting much hotter, aren't we wondering where all the parrots that used to inhabit our forests have disappeared to? Aren't we appalled that the thick, lush, equatorial forests of the hinterlands are thinning down? Apparently not. Maybe we feel powerless, maybe we are not well-informed or maybe we are just living for the moment?

Obama for Peace...Prize!

This past Friday, Twitter, Facebook, Google and the blogosphere were all abuzz with one item on everyone's (*erm*) keyboard. Everybody had an opinion on the 44th President of the United States getting this year's coveted Nobel Peace Prize.
Just to think a year ago, President Obama was Senator Obama; one term State Senator from Illinois criss-crossing America on the campaign trail with his infectious "Yes we can!" message. A year later, not only is Barack Obama a president, he is also a Nobel Peace Prize recipient. Indeed, Yes HE can!

Even ardent fans of Obama like myself were taken aback by the noble Nobel Committee's announcement. Later it became apparent to me that the prize is for work to be done to promote peace rather than work done. This puts immense pressure on President Obama. The critics are everywhere. Already Obama has come face-to-face with fiery opposition to his Health Care reform bill from opposition Republicans who have accused him of everything from being a liar to (shock-horror) a communist. Even the same people on the left who helped propel him to his current position are expressing dissatisfaction. Have you heard of the Obameter at PolitiFact.com? Basically, the good people at PolitiFact.com have compiled more than 500 promises that President Obama made during his campaign and are tracking their progress on their Obameter.

They rate each promise's status as: No Action, In the Works or Stalled. Once they find action is completed, they rate them as Promise Kept, Compromise or Promise Broken.

So far things are not looking too good on President Obama's scorecard. Imagine we had something similar in Ghana. I would hate to see President's Mill's report card right about now!

Poor President Obama. He may have wanted to take a backseat when it came to world politics and focus more on internal domestic issues. Now this seems impossible especially with the Nobel Prize looming over his head. For me it has now became clear as day, Obama is basically the superhero that we have all being waiting for to save the world! Move over Superman, here comes Obama-man:

• Got problems in the Middle East? Here Obama-man comes to save the day!
• Conflict in Darfur? Obama-man to the rescue
  
• Nagging issues with juntas in Burma? Obama-man is on the job..
• North Korea still testing those pesky missiles? It's a bird; it's a plane; No, Its Obama-man.
  

I admire President Obama right this minute. He has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Literally.

President Obama the Superhero
Source: Flickr

Ghana Politics 101: Political Power must come with control of Public Toilets!

About 10 years ago there was an email making the rounds that described the characteristics of people from different African countries. According to the email , "Ghanaians think they invented politics". Okay, so maybe we didn't actually invent politics but in recent time we have shown that we know a thing or two about how to do democracy! Anyway, I do think we have a number of valuable political lessons to share with Africa and the rest of the world so let me welcome you to the first installment of my online course: "Introduction to Ghanaian Politics 101"

Lecture 1: Political Power must come with control of Public Toilets!

Public Toilet in Accra
Source: www.janchipchase.com

After President J.E.A. Mills was sworn into office on 7 January 2009, one of the first things that happened was that hordes of his party supporters stormed public toilets all over the country to seize control of their operation. Likewise, after President J.A. Kufuor was sworn into office on 7 January 2001, one of the first things that happened was that hordes of his party supporters stormed public toilets all over the country to seize control of their operation. Many Ghanaians were shocked and some pontificated on how ludicrous it was to grab toilets. I beg to differ. I have come to realise that there is real wealth in every flush.

With the help of two associates, I present to you the Toilet Revenue Generating Model for Economic Empowerment:

• So lets say we are 4 men belonging to the ruling party in government. Following an election we have managed to seize control of a public toilet complex with 20 water closets (WCs) in the bustling Tema Station area right in Accra Central.

• Let's say everyday our toilet facility has an average of 2000 visits from people 1. living in the area, 2. transiting through Tema station and 3. visitors to Tema Station Market /Makola Market.

• Suppose we charge 20p (Ghana pesewas) per visit to our facility. This would mean that we should expect a total daily revenue of GHC 400.00.

• However, we must subtract the various daily operational costs associated with running the facility.

OPERATIONAL COSTS

• Water

Water Tanker in Accra
Source: http://www.ghana-pedia.org/

*Each flush will take between 1.6 gallons of water (for new toilet models) and 4 gallons (for older models). So we can strike an average of 2.8 gallons per flush
*Therefore, one visit will require 3 gallons of water (2.8 gallons to flush + 0.2 gallons to wash hands)
*2000 people per day will require a total of 6000 gallons to flush and wash their hands. *One water tanker carrying 3000 gallons currently costs around GHC70.00. So we are looking at a total daily water consumption cost of GHC 140.00.
*Subtract GHC 140.00 from our projected daily revenue for water

• Toilet Paper:

*One 2-ply toilet roll costs around 50p (maximum). If you have ever frequented a public toilet you will know that they are not generous with the amount of toilet paper they give you.
*If one roll has 100 sheets and each person gets 5 sheets, each roll could serve 20 people comfortably.
*Therefore 100 rolls would be required per day and we are now looking at a total daily toilet roll expenditure of GHC 50.00.

NB: There is also the free old newspaper option but we will not consider that for this model.

*Subtract GHC 50.00 from our projected daily revenue for toilet paper

• Toilet Cleaners:

*Lets say we employ 2 workers to maintain our toilets. Each day we pay each worker GHC 5.00
*Subtract GHC 10.00 from our projected daily revenue for salaries

• Toilet Cleaning supplies.

*Daily we spent about GHC3.00 on soap and all other cleaning supplies
*Subtract GHC 3.00 from our projected daily revenue for toilet cleaning supplies

• Total Operational costs to subtract per day = GHC 203.00

• Total projected daily profit = GHC 197.00

• Average total monthly revenue = GHC 197.00 X 30.5 days = GHC 6008.50

• Divide monthly revenue by 4 men. Thus, each person controlling the public toilet is looking at a cool GHC 1502.00 per month (approximately $1036.00 at the current exchange rate). This is tax-free money and more than most people in Ghana make per annum

• FAVORABLE FACTORS: Consider a popular rice seller operating in the station who does not wash her hands and infests her food with enteric bacteria causing an outbreak of diarrhoeal disease in the area. The outbreak could result in an average of 4000 visits to the toilet facility and thus increase revenue and increase the projected profit margin!
  

ABOVE: E-coli Bacteria
Source: NIAID sciencedaily.com

Just think about how this model is replicated all over the country. The take-home message is that toilet facility operation is a undeniable revenue earner for the members of ANY party in power. It can go a long way to appease (some) party grass-root members/cadres/foot soldiers. So next time you declare that it is completely ridiculous to seize toilets, think again.

HOMEWORK/ASSIGNMENT: Please discuss why electricity costs were not factored or considered in the Toilet Revenue Generating Model. This is despite the fact that the toilet facility is likely to be bathed in electricity light 24/7/365!